Something Old Something New

  Tonight I sit, listening to the old man slightly snoring beside me, the house is quiet but for a nearly grown child going to the bathroom every now and then ,and the sound of little a$$hole meowing and messing, as kittens often do. These nearly silent moments lead me to thinking...

  The new year looms on the horizon, the energy for it, is a guarded hopeful that this year is better than the last. Will it be? Will we make it better? Or will we walk into 2021 carrying the hurts and pain from 2020? I guess that is up to individuals all over the world.

  In my own corner I've already started to leave 2020 in my dust. At work Ive cleaned my med. carts. If the medication has been discontinued, or the resident has gone home (wherever that may be) their medications left behind will not be in my cart, as a reminder that they are no longer with us. Am I trying to forget them? Absolutely not, but I would very much not like to remember how I last saw some of them. 

 In my home, we've began cleaning to be caught up. My mother once told me that on new years day you're to do no laundry,  no sweeping, cant even take out the trash, it's to be done on new years eve to be sure not to leave any of the old year behind. So today I'll be washing the clothes and rallying the children to help me get as much done as possible before I leave for work. They don't even know what's coming! 

  There is so much rain forcasted, over the next few days, and while some may be upset about that, I find it fitting. Cleaning the energy out, washing it away is so needed that even Mother Nature feels the need to rid Herself of the extra we have carried this year. 

 Every year I make the resolutions and set the goals, not 2021. This year breathing and enjoying life is the only goal I've made. If I read 12 books (my goal two years ago) thats great but its going to be because Ive found 12 books that made me WANT to read them not out of a commitment to myself. If I exercise 3 times a week (last years goal), it will be because I fully acknowledged the need to do this, not to meet an I need to lose however many pounds I said I wanted to resolution. 

 Every time I make these promises to myself I look back and know I did it for the wrong reasons. Personally, I did it because it was expected everyone does that so I should too! But nah not this year Im good. Not saying I'm perfect or that I don't need to lose weight or that money management or expanding knowledge through books are not things I should be doing, but this year I'll do these things (maybe) because I decide to, not because Im suddenly obligated to.

 Obligations are over rated... we are obligated to so many things already. Many times we feel like we aren't enough or good enough, why add more pressure on ourselves to meet imaginary goals we aren't even sure we want to or are feasible. No two months are the same, two weeks can differ, shoot sometimes change comes in a blink of an eye. Seize life, adventure, relax, and love as many as you can as much as you can, but above all LOVE YOURSELF! 

  Love & Light y'all and Happy New Year!! 

 

Meeting Santa

   Today the twins met Santa and it was me who cried. That sounds strange to hear, to read, to know is a fact, and yet it feels odd to my brain. D will talk to anyone, he has so much personality, knows no stranger, and wants to be friends with the whole world. Then we have V, easily overwhelmed, quick to shut down, careful, reserved, and as much as I am not sure about this label she is 'extra'.

   Every task big or small requires more (extra) for her. From a shower that cant be more than lukewarm, to dresses that cant have the wrong textures, to getting dressed and her hair brushed these things that happen every day are exhausting to both her and I but we get them done and then we have cuddles. 

  We start to get prepared to get ready hours before we have to leave yet still end up being late a lot of the time, but today was different! We spent some time last night talking about going to meet Santa. D was excited! V was reserved, yet excited as well! I just knew this was going to go great! We get dressed in comfy clothes for her, and D was semi dressed up there would be pictures. Not going to lie I was excited to have pictures to have this moment locked in history. WE'RE READY!

Here we go! Photo credit goes to me!

  There 15 minutes early we have to wait... during the wait Santa arrives. He stops by the car and speaks to the twins. They smile, D ready to tell the smiling man his whole list in 30 seconds or less. V giggles and says hi! She says hi y'all! This is going to be GREATNESS! 

  Its our turn, there are knots in my stomach will she have a breakdown will she be afraid to be there under the lights in a room with people she doesn't know. Walking through puddles, with a stern warning to D not to run, we enter the workshop of a local photographer. There in the big chair sits Santa! D runs to him while his sister is slower but still moving. A few pictures are taken and we are done! Oh no, Santa wants to talk; deep breath Nana this is fine. D is talking up a storm. V stands smiling. Then there are candy canes. D flies over to get his while watching him, we hear V talking to Santa. Not saying I don't know which has become her go to phrase, but talking! And this friends is where I tear up! She held a conversation with a person she doesn't really know, maybe it was the magick of Santa since she spoke not one word to the photographer, but to be honest I could care less! She took her candy cane from Santa and off we went. 

  

Testing the waters

 After much thought and deliberation I switched to this blogger account I used in the past. Hopefully this one isn't marked as a violation of standards by Facebook. Love and light y'all!