Dreams vs Reality

 I should be studying, but yet I'm sitting here thinking of what I want to do at the new old house. Rooms to clean, rooms to paint, a chicken coop to build, so much fencing that needs to be installed. I am glossing over the roof, the well, and the electricity which should be the focal points without those the rest become mute points. Oh glob we need a barn for the goats too. There I go putting the dream before the reality. 

In a small effort to move forward with the reality I decided to start selling our eggs again, I had been donating them all to the local food pantry. I believe in this cause so much I will not sell them all but a portion of them. Everything over 4 dozen sold weekly is profit on chickens, profit goes to making the dream the reality. 

In the past week I have started baking again, instead of buying so many snacks and easy items for the kids to munch. I noticed the grocery bill went from 300 to 200 this week. While that 100 could have been set aside its going to paying for my truck inspection and more reality. I'm trying to give myself grace its been since covid that I've thought homestead if we are being honest. I'm terribly afraid that honesty is a part of making a dream reality, not sure I like being honest with myself, but here we are. 

I thought about adding ads to this blog, making TikToks and reels, anything that could drive revenue no matter how small. On the other hand, I am crazy private and the thought of ads makes me worry that those of you who do read my words, may be annoyed by them. I'm an ESTY failure but I feel like many are, so that avenue is probably not going to be any help. 

So here we are making lists and trying to turn dreams into reality. Maybe what we are trying to do is turn fear into action...

Working things out through you.

The house- photo credit LBriggs

There's been so many questions in the last few days, it's prompted me to write. I've shared this house in different pictures a few times over the years, always with the thoughts of "what if" , but what ifs are dreams. They aren't based in the realm of this world, but things of the ether untouchable, unattainable, and in this case unlivable.   

In nursing we use SBAR when giving a report, in order to keep as much emotion out of this as possible I think I will use that format myself. 

S- Situation

This is my house- a hundred years old- 3 bedroom 1 bath sitting on 25+ acres. 

B- Background

This section could be so long. My mom loved this house, she passed away here. My husband and I had begged the people who had a lifetime right to the house to let us live there, we were always denied, due to me being a witch, due to me not doing somethings they wanted me to do, due to them wanting to dangle the carrot of a dream but never really intending to allow that dream to come true. We had given up on that dream and made our home here. For some reason thinking those people would live forever and not making any plans to not be where we are now (like dummies I know). In the last week we found out the lifetime right had expired and here we are back to the situation-- This is my house. 

A-Assessment

The house needs a new roof, the well is attached to another house that is not mine so a new well is in order, the wiring is old old glass fuses and not breakers so an electrician is needed (maybe not this second but not too far in the future). There are issues but none too great that can not be fixed, like most things money is all it would take. There are two points I want to add to the assessment portion, the kitchen is amazing, and the room my mom left this world in is so close to a time capsule it's a little bit scary.  All the other rooms have been painted in the last 20 years at least once, not that one. The wallpaper boarder they tried to take down is still there doing it's best to hang on, it's as though its waited for us to come and change her vision to ours. ( I promised to leave emotion out of this, I am failing.)

R- Recommendation

This is tricky as I don't know. We have a new set of what ifs and this set is scary.  My instructors at school would be so disappointed right now. Nurses are supposed to have at least an idea of something they can recommend, and here I sit not knowing what would be the best course of action.

The last couple years, I had pretty much given up on my homesteading hopes, the will be to self sufficient, even in part, has turned to simply feeding animals, and making it through to the next day. I am almost done with school, I figured I'd just work 40+ hours a week, give in to the grind and the commercial way of life. The thoughts of anarchy and bucking the system by making my own, has turned into what's quick and easy and I don't have to think about. So here we are recommendation-less.     

Keep an eye out, as I continue to work things out through you who read, feel free to leave a comment if you have any recommendations, I would love to read them. As always Love (so much love) and Light yall!