Ever feel like you're faking life just existing and not really doing much? That would be me right now. I have these goats I hardly spend time with, chickens with no names, grapes growing on vines that are wildly out of control, admin groups on facebook that I really don't relate to yet can tell others how to live it, working more days than not, house is nothing special ideas but no money or inspirations, haven't done Magick in so long the Gods would laugh at me if I started now, hell trying to fight to find words for this blog that I really had high hopes for. Im working on me but even there its just not clicking... Im in a spiral of limited days and yet making no changes that make life amazing. Im looking for something within and without that has me (she who doesn't self help) pinning self help stuff to find a spark.
I find myself thinking when fall comes, when its cooler, Ill do this or that pretty much knowing I wont because I said the same things over winter and here it is summer and yet still uninspired. Making goals and smashing them, making plans and doing them, yet still it feels hallow and coming up short. Is this what a mid-life crisis feels like? Its not like my life has ever been spectacular my 15 mins of fame I would have gladly given back I don't want excitement not really, no drama llamas please and thank you if you're listening Universe, just to feel more something if that makes sense.
Monday, August 12, 2019
Monday, March 18, 2019
Change Is A Good Thing!
Its been months since I last wrote Im a horrible blogger it would seem. The farm has been busy with the coming up Spring, but that's not what I want to write about tonight. Tonight I want to write about goals, about paths, about support; these are not as easy topics as one would think.
Lets start with a story... My bestie bought me a yoga mat, a year and some change ago. It was teal her favorite color and every time I look at it I think of her and the fact that she loves me. She loves me enough to support the words that come out of my mouth, even if the actions don't always follow. She loves me enough to hate to see me not eating, not taking care of myself, and to want to be healthier but not enough to actually DO anything about it. Yes that teal yoga mat meant a lot and garnered a ton of thought. I kept it close in my room and I had to look at it every day for a year and some change... Then one day the youngest farm hand stood on the scale to brush her teeth and I saw she weighed a little over 75 pounds, she was 4.
I was hurt by this number so Oct of 2018 I started to get serious in small ways to make me healthier since children want to be like their caregivers it seemed like the most logical idea to me. I started walking making sure I hit my goal of 6,000 steps a day. If that meant at 11:30pm I was pacing the hall to get that last 300 then that's what I did. She noticed and started to walk with me when I went outside. I started to change the food that came into the house, the whole family noticed that (in a big way).
In Dec 2018 I decided to maybe adding some yoga wouldn't be too hard, I let the excuses stop coming out of my mouth and made the time. I pulled that teal yoga mat out of the corner, laid it in the floor in front of the tv, and turned on Yoga with Adriene. I did the same thing the next day and the next... wasn't long before the littlest farm hands noticed and wanted to play along. I noticed something too the more I did it the better my body responded. Morning yoga is my time with them to move their bodies do they follow the video not so well but they understand they are taking time to do something for them. Evening yoga is for me it is my time to connect with my body to show myself some love.
Feb 2019 I started using My Fitness Pal and seeing how very little I was actually eating but all the wrong food choices was eye opening. I thought I wasn't doing too badly but I was drinking so many calories per day in soda it was sad and no wonder I wasn't losing any weight. The family was losing pounds and being active and feeling better with the littlest farm hand losing 5 pounds so far.
Fast forward to me changing my eating and drinking habits and this month... Legit eating on the Hobbit schedule second breakfast and elevenese included! The cup I have with me always is filled with water and while it still isn't my favorite it isn't killing me either! I am excited to have a loss of pounds but more excited when I get into plank position and no longer say bad words and think Adriene hates us.
The point of all this is support your besties out there, we may be slow to act sometimes but your support is always appreciated! Also check out Yoga with Adriene on YouTube some of the videos are only 6-7 mins, your body will thank you for it you know after it gets over the shock!
** I have to add I am not a dr don't pretend to be one check with them before you change your diet or start any exercise!!**
Lets start with a story... My bestie bought me a yoga mat, a year and some change ago. It was teal her favorite color and every time I look at it I think of her and the fact that she loves me. She loves me enough to support the words that come out of my mouth, even if the actions don't always follow. She loves me enough to hate to see me not eating, not taking care of myself, and to want to be healthier but not enough to actually DO anything about it. Yes that teal yoga mat meant a lot and garnered a ton of thought. I kept it close in my room and I had to look at it every day for a year and some change... Then one day the youngest farm hand stood on the scale to brush her teeth and I saw she weighed a little over 75 pounds, she was 4.
I was hurt by this number so Oct of 2018 I started to get serious in small ways to make me healthier since children want to be like their caregivers it seemed like the most logical idea to me. I started walking making sure I hit my goal of 6,000 steps a day. If that meant at 11:30pm I was pacing the hall to get that last 300 then that's what I did. She noticed and started to walk with me when I went outside. I started to change the food that came into the house, the whole family noticed that (in a big way).
In Dec 2018 I decided to maybe adding some yoga wouldn't be too hard, I let the excuses stop coming out of my mouth and made the time. I pulled that teal yoga mat out of the corner, laid it in the floor in front of the tv, and turned on Yoga with Adriene. I did the same thing the next day and the next... wasn't long before the littlest farm hands noticed and wanted to play along. I noticed something too the more I did it the better my body responded. Morning yoga is my time with them to move their bodies do they follow the video not so well but they understand they are taking time to do something for them. Evening yoga is for me it is my time to connect with my body to show myself some love.
Fast forward to me changing my eating and drinking habits and this month... Legit eating on the Hobbit schedule second breakfast and elevenese included! The cup I have with me always is filled with water and while it still isn't my favorite it isn't killing me either! I am excited to have a loss of pounds but more excited when I get into plank position and no longer say bad words and think Adriene hates us.
The point of all this is support your besties out there, we may be slow to act sometimes but your support is always appreciated! Also check out Yoga with Adriene on YouTube some of the videos are only 6-7 mins, your body will thank you for it you know after it gets over the shock!
** I have to add I am not a dr don't pretend to be one check with them before you change your diet or start any exercise!!**
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