Ever feel like you're faking life just existing and not really doing much? That would be me right now. I have these goats I hardly spend time with, chickens with no names, grapes growing on vines that are wildly out of control, admin groups on facebook that I really don't relate to yet can tell others how to live it, working more days than not, house is nothing special ideas but no money or inspirations, haven't done Magick in so long the Gods would laugh at me if I started now, hell trying to fight to find words for this blog that I really had high hopes for. Im working on me but even there its just not clicking... Im in a spiral of limited days and yet making no changes that make life amazing. Im looking for something within and without that has me (she who doesn't self help) pinning self help stuff to find a spark.
I find myself thinking when fall comes, when its cooler, Ill do this or that pretty much knowing I wont because I said the same things over winter and here it is summer and yet still uninspired. Making goals and smashing them, making plans and doing them, yet still it feels hallow and coming up short. Is this what a mid-life crisis feels like? Its not like my life has ever been spectacular my 15 mins of fame I would have gladly given back I don't want excitement not really, no drama llamas please and thank you if you're listening Universe, just to feel more something if that makes sense.
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